


My trusty paperclip

by Ce0_0f_em0



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hajime is learning to forgive himself, Komaeda Nagito Is Not Ill, M/M, Other, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Tired Hinata Hajime, chiaki is a sweetie, im sorry lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22734088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ce0_0f_em0/pseuds/Ce0_0f_em0
Summary: When Hajime finds himself at his worst he realizes that the world is an unforgiving place, but that doesn't mean he has to be.(Hajime finds himself living a pointless self, without a will to live, only then does he discover the meaning of life, along with a sense of belonging and peace, with the help of his paperclip and his mushroom friend)
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 2
Kudos: 95





	My trusty paperclip

**Author's Note:**

> If you are considering suicide or self harm please call this number  
> Canada:   
> 1 833 456 4566  
> United states:  
> 1-800-273-8255

Hajime wonders if anyone would notice him when he’s gone.

He hates sticking out and blending in, the crowds of people. He hates being noticed but lately he starts to slip away. And he’s trying, he’s trying his best but his best isn’t good enough.

He starts to slip away on monday, and he can tell, he stops talking to his friends, Chiaki and Nagito, and he’s sure they would’ve noticed by now but his brain keeps screaming no- no they haven’t yet and no they won’t.   
He wouldn’t be hard to replace his mind tells him. Afterall, he looked like every other man in Japan, except for his bland personality and even worse sense of style.

It’s Thursday, and Hajime is sitting in his car holding his letter of resignation. What's the point of working if you can’t get anything done. Not that anyone notices him at work either, making him repeat the same tasks he's been doing the last week because he’s too afraid to stand out.  
And maybe, Hajime thinks for a second, it’s always been more of him being afraid to depend on someone, and expect to return their trust. It’s ridiculous, he thinks, this is another reason why nagito didn’t date him, for the sake of his mental health.  
A quiet voice in his mind tells him otherwise, but even now, the voice is just a whisper among the shouting voices, the anger and defeat. 

Hajime is a coward, a fraud. He’s slipping and he can’t do anything about it. His heart hollowed out on a letter, a letter that would explain everything, everything that the coward couldn’t. 

Maybe, just maybe if he had a little more courage he would be phoning chiaki, who has been concerned about him from the start. He could put her worry to rest, he could stop being such a shitty friend, a talentless, good for nothing- 

He decides to roll down his window, looking out at the street lights across from him. The sun has already set and Hajime’s sitting in his car, neglecting the time change, neglecting his responsibilities. And he can’t help but laugh, out of pity, he was crazy for thinking this would work. 

What about nagito? Well what about him? 

Hajime could never help nagito the way he deserves to be helped, even if the white haired saint would argue differently. His mental health would only weigh the other one down he decided, which was exactly why he was sitting here in his car, alone, on a thursday night.

If a masked killer couldn’t kill Hajime right now, he would find something that would.

Before Hajime knew it, it was friday and he was lying in bed, a blanket just barely covering his torso.   
He was selfish, spending all his time in bed instead of finishing senior year, or getting help, he was lousy and annoying and- 

The doorbell rang, which was abnormal, no one came for hajime, no one wanted to see him.  
He reluctantly got out of bed, smelling of sweat and illness. Was hajime sick? Maybe he was sick for wanting this, but it didn’t matter, because someone was still ringing the doorbell.

Hajime turned the cold handle, secretly hoping that it was one of his friends coming to rescue him from himself, but they weren’t.

No one would rescue him, not the delivery man, not the cop that pulled him over when he was crying, not chiaki or nagito. 

Hajime turned on his phone, seeing a text from nagito, and maybe, Hajime thought selfishly that he would come over, and hold him together like a trusty paper clip. 

And maybe Hajime wasn’t a stack of paper as he viewed the simple ‘’good afternoon’’ text from nagito, maybe Hajime was a piece of gravel in the sea, or a fallen leaf in a pile. 

Nothing would come of use with him, not even with a paperclip, or mushroom, but Hajime already knew that. He always had, and the next morning, when his friends would find the note and a unconscious Hajime, they would learn it too. 

But they didn’t have to learn it, because his life wasn’t a lesson written on a piece of paper for others to follow blindly. He was rushed to the hospital, by his trusty paperclip and mushroom, and surprisingly he made it. 

But he didn’t want to. His chest hooked up to several machines along with an Iv through his arm. The blinding white light, which he could’ve mistaken for the afterlife, before remembering that he was Hajime Hinata, someone who didn’t deserve to be free of their burden, the gift of life.   
Apart from him feeling disgusted with himself, not being able to do anything right,   
he felt sorrow, a strong feeling clouding his mind in an unforgiving fog.

The first pair of eyes he stumbled upon were Chiaki’s, who managed to stay awake as they were pumping the almost digested pills out of his stomach in an attempt to save him.   
He wished he did die, so he would never have to see the pain in her eyes, the desperation to see her friend back to normal.

Hajime wasn’t sure he could go back to normal, that ‘’Hajime’’ was in the afterlife, free from the burden of living, the curse of emotion and other painful things.

Chiaki was grasping his left hand, like a life line she would never let go of. 

His eyes trailed across the room, meeting another pair of eyes, emerald green, but the life had been drained over time.   
Was that his doing? 

Was he the winter season, depleting the seasons of all life and marvel, leaving them cold and dead? 

‘’Hajime..’’ Nagito’s voice broke, as his lip quivered. He lunged forward, avoiding the tube sitting on his chest, tucking his head into the crook of Hajime’s neck.

Hajime felt a flow of tears slip down his shoulder from his companion as shame and remorse gripped his body. 

‘’When I read- when we read the note I noticed you signed, to my trusty paperclip, and my greatest mushroom friend. It felt as though I couldn’t breathe. I only realized then that I took you for granted all this time, and you still considered me a friend, you ignored all my flaws, and all my mistakes, you looked past my history, but I had not done the same. I’m sorry Hajime. I’m sorry this is what it took for us- me to apologize.’’ Nagito spoke through his tears, his usual wall knocked down by compassion. 

‘’I’m sorry too. I didn’t realize before it was too late. I should have checked on you when I had the chance. I'm glad we got to you in time, because I don’t know what I would do without you. I just wish I could’ve told you before we found ourselves in the hospital at 9 A.M.’’ Chiaki chuckled, but she was still crying. 

‘’I forgive you.’’ The words fell from his tongue easily, a faint smile falling onto his face as he fell back asleep. And maybe in the future he would be able to forgive himself too. 

Maybe life wasn’t all about being wronged and betrayed, maybe he could forgive, forgive all those scars that tainted his soul, forgive their wrath and anger for peace. 

Hajime would find peace, and if there was no peace to find, Hajime would make his own.

Because today was monday, the start of a new week, a new beginning, one that would be more forgiving to Hajime, with the help of his trusty paperclip and his mushroom friend.

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a fic Idea that got out of hand sorta, changed the ending so it would be a bit happier though,   
> Sorry if it doesn't make much sense, It's 3 am and I wanted to vent a wee bit. (I'm alot better, I just wanted to focus on Hajime's mental health more, as the fandom mostly views nagito as the one going through things like this, but I feel like Hajime is impacted more than it shows.)


End file.
